Sometimes I wonder why I do the things I do.

Like why when i like someone i say nothing about it and i try to hide the very fact that i do like this person.

Or.

why do I always let my room get so messy that its takes me a whole day to clean it up

Or.

Why do i buy a gym membership promise myself i would go and never do.

Why do I hate my sister so much but im so reluctant to tell her how i feel.

Why do I allow people to disrespect just because i know they might not have had the best of days or weeks or months or lives.

Why do I know i want to be a singer but i haven’t recorded anything; when i full access to a studio that i dont have to pay for.

Why do i know i have assignments from school and i dont do them until the last minute or until its way to late.

Somtimes i think that im afraid of criticism but that cant be true because as a singer i get that all the time. Maybe it might be that im afraid of rejection. Maybe I’m just plain ol’ afraid.

And i dont want to be. i want to be the person that i know i am.

Fierce and brave and ourgoing. Always looking for that next adventure. The potential that i know breathes inside my very soul, my very being. But how do i become what i already know i am?

I feel like I’ve always been too mature for my age. Like I have too good of a conscience. I just wanna have fun go out and just have fun not holding back; no stopping because I’m contemplating the out comes. For once I wanna just be young!

Dont get me wrong I love the fact I know right from wrong, that I have accomplished the things that I have at the age that I am but I just for once want to feel like my age and not like some old lady.